My youngest son, Tristan, has an Autism disorder. He was diagnosed with PDD-NOS when he was three years old.
PDD-NOS is defined as:
Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS) is one of the autism spectrum disorders and is used to describe individuals who do not fully meet the criteria for autistic disorder or Asperger syndrome.
PDD-NOS may be thought of as “subthreshold autism,” or a diagnosis one can give a person who has “atypical symptomatology.” In other words, when someone has autistic characteristics but some of their symptoms are mild, or they have symptoms in one area (like social deficits), but none in another key area (like restricted, repetitive behaviors), they may be given the PDD-NOS label. (Quote taken from http://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/pdd-nos)
Tristan is a bright boy. He’s a happy boy. He wants for nothing. He’s seven years old and in the first grade.
Outside of the walls of my house, he is also my embarrassment.
That sounds horrible, I know.
But it’s difficult being out with him in public. Tristan is 7 and small and looks much younger than he is. His speech makes him seem even younger yet.
He doesn’t act out when in public. Quite the opposite. He’s very well behaved.
However, I have a fear every time I am out with him. When he was a baby and a toddler, he attracted the attention of grandmothers and other women. Always with questions: “What’s his name? How old is he? Where’s his mother?”
I answered truthfully at first; telling people he was three when he appeared to be no more than 18 months or so.
Then I would get the looks.
Those horrible, pitying looks.
Then I started to lie about his age.
The looks stopped.
Over time, the questions stopped.
But that fear remains.
I struggled for a long time about how much I wanted to talk about this on my blog. About how much I wanted to share with you all.
I finally decided to do it and took a short video of my boy. With my wife’s blessing, I am posting it here.
This is Tristan, 7 years and 3 months old, answering questions about his day at school:
I don’t know how many of his answers are true. He tends to remember responses that achieved a positive response and will repeat them whether they are true or not.
Also, he doesn’t normally squint. The light from the camera was in his face.
He is in first grade. All of his teachers have assured us that academically, he’s doing very well – near the top of the class. He has a knack for remembering information. Getting that information out can be difficult, as you can see.
I so desperately want to be able to talk to my boy like a father should be able to talk to a “normal” seven year old.
He is my pride and joy. I love him dearly.
He is a happy child – a funny child – a smart child – a loving child.
I just wish he could tell me he loves me and actually know what he’s saying.
You can read more about Eric and his son Tristan at I Can’t Brain Today; I Have The Dumb
