My teenage son said he hates me.. | Dads with Teens | Dad Chat Forums

I have a 13 year old son that has been a very good kid growing up.  He was funny, joked around a lot, and made friends easy.  We moved and he had to start in a new school.  I understand that the kids are going to pick on the new student, but he took it to heart and didn't want to return to school..  I decided to let my wife homeschool all the kids because she talked me into it and she made a good argument.   Into the second year of homeschooling, my son started to slack off WAY too much on his education and his chores.  It was like an indefinite vacation for him.  I decided that he needed to go back to a regular school.  I think that's where the problem started.  He had to start in middle school, he was doing fine with his grades, but then they started to decline……in a rapid rate.  Little did I know that the kids at school were giving him a hard time.  He wouldn't tell me or his mom about it.  At the end of the year, his report card stated failing grades.  The following year was even worse.   After Christmas of last year, I made a deal with both of my older boys, I will pay for the grades they bring home on their report cards.  My oldest, who is 14 right now, went beyond his requirements for the grades. He made the honor roll, (but he's the very slow learner).  I was so proud of him that I paid what he was owed and I bought him a new bike, too.   My 13 year old showed worse grades than the year before.  ALL FAILS except one; Physical Education, which was an A.  He let me know that he was very angry at the fact the his brother got a bike and he didn't..  I reminded him that all I asked for was good grades.  The bike was just a bonus for the extra credits that his brother earned.   13 year old just got worse after that with his attitude with his little brothers and his older one.  He didn't speak to us (parents) the way we were supposed to be spoken to.  He talked to everyone as his inferiors.   As his dad, I was not going to let him get away with that too much longer.   So I started to take away priveleges as video games, watching movies, etc, but he just lashed out further.   I told my wife that he needed to talk to a therapist.  I only suggested that 'cause he wouldn't to me or her.   He has had two sessions and my wife has been with him.  Both times he said that he hates me.  My wife told me that only after I asked her this last time why she wasnt talking to me…   The wife thing is another story; to be continued on that note.   My question about this situation, DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG, OR IS JUST THAT I AM EASY TO BLAME????     I could get into details later……     I Need some advice……………………………

Thanks Dadgaz.  I decided to take a step back, but not too far into the shadows, to see if it really was me that he was angry with.  So far, like you said, I am beginning to think it's his hormones in overdrive and he doesn't what to do with it.  His voice is changing so I know he hit puberty.  I figure if I give him some space, maybe he will calm down and not act so crappy towards his brothers and us.   I also thought of letting join some kind of recreational activity instead of staying in his room playing video games all day..   I hope I can help with that thought.