My new partner wants nothing to do with my kids | Divorced / Separated Dads | Dad Chat Forums

I've got 2 boys, 6 and 3 from a previous relationship and they live with their mum.

My new partner always knew I had kids but said that would be fine but she would wait before meeting them and spending time with them. She would occassionaly make nasty remarks about them but claimed she was joking. I told her that I didnt find this funny but she still does it even now she's met the boys.

Anyway, she met the boys last Oct after us being together 8 months, moving in and getting engaged. We're due to marry in mid Nov this year, however she now refuses to make any effort to spend time with my kids and I. She's always out when they stay and never comes with me when I have to drive to London to pick them up. She now says that she's found it harder than she thought she would and she's not prepared for them to impact her life. She wants to keep them at arms length, occassionaly drop in and say hi but no more than that.

This has really got to me and we've had endless arguements about it. I've now resigned myself to the fact that I'll have to accept this as if I force her she'll resent it. She claims she loves me deeply and I'm sure she does but she's not prepared to build a relationship with the boys.

I feel so lonely when I'm with them, like I'm living 2 separate lives – really getting me down! I'm thinking seriously about whether I can marry her now! I don't know what to do!! HELP??!! My close girl friends tell me that there's no way they'd treat me or the boys like that!! Should I even get married??!

Thanks