It is not uncommon for the father to feel a sense of inadequacy when it comes to breastfeeding but don’t worry that is entirely natural and there are ways to deal with this.
But first lets look at the benefits of breastfeeding.
Benefits of breastfeeding
Breast milk is good for your baby’s health.
Breast milk contains the perfect blend of nutrients needed by your baby.
Breast milk transmits the mum’s immunity to certain diseases.
A baby fed on breast milk is much less likely than formula-fed babies to get an upset stomach, develop food allergies, and chest infections.
Research also shows they are less likely to become obese as adults.
Breastfed babies have less smelly poo than formula fed babies!
Breastfeeding requires no preparation. There are no bottles to sterilise etc.
Breastmilk is free.
Breastfeeding is a great way for the mother to bond with baby.
Fathers and Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding creates a special relationship between your partner and your baby, so it’s completely natural if a new dad feels some inadequacies and worries.
You may feel that nothing you do for your baby competes with what your partner’s breasts can do.
That when she is crying and hungry only your partner has the magic fix – her breast.
You may be concerned that you’ll have a more difficult time bonding with baby than your partner.
You may even feel resentment and jealousy towards your baby. They are taking up all of your partner’s time and coming between you, and they now have exclusive access to one of your partners favourite body parts!
DON’T WORRY THESE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ARE NATURAL.
But just because you can’t personally breastfeed your baby milk doesn’t mean you can’t be involved.
Breastfeeding can be hard work for the mother, so be supportive and thoughtful towards your partner. Take a big share in the chores and make sure she has what she needs while she’s feeding. She may feel pretty marooned with a baby at her breast, and will really appreciate you being an extra pair of hands. ?
The current advice is that mums should try to breastfeed for at least a year. Studies have shown that the more supportive their partners are, the longer they breastfeed, so you have a key role to play.
Practical things that you can do for your partner:
- Fetch a feeding cushion and help her position your new baby correctly.
- Make sure she is comfortable. Bring her drinks and snacks. See she has a glass of water at least to hand, as breastfeeding can be thirsty work.
- Wind or settle the baby down after feeding
- Take charge of nappy changes. Why not have a policy where mummy is in charge of feeding and daddy is in charge of evacuation! Having a defined role can make you feel part of the whole process. And nappy changing and cuddling is a great way to bond with your baby.
Expressed Milk
If your partner is up for it get her to express milk so that you can take over one of the feeds and bottle feed baby.
Some women find expressing milk uncomfortable and even painful, so don’t get upset if your partner is reluctant, but with time and patience it is worth it – mummy gets a break and daddy gets to feed baby.
At first baby may not be too keen to take the bottle. Bottle teats come in many shapes, sizes and textures and you may have to experiment a little until you discover the kind baby’s happiest with. ?
Breastfeeding may at first be hard for you and your partner but remember that breast milk is the best your baby can get.
