Babies Are Useless

I don’t want to knock my gorgeous baby daughter but it has to be said she is pretty useless. She is uncoordinated, sleepy, inattentive, forgetful and has no idea how to get her own food and no idea how to protect herself. Leave her on her own for a day and she would starve. And… Continue reading Babies Are Useless

The Longest Day

For years I’ve wanted a child. It took over 5 years and a lot of struggles and heartache to make our daughter.  But on Saturday when wifey announced that she was going to a day spa  and  “don’t you remember you agreed to look after baby for the day”, my first reaction was fear, closely… Continue reading The Longest Day

My Daughter’s First Snow

Somebody is up before dawn yelling “Snow, snow, snow. Let’s play.” That somebody is me. Wifey pulls the duvet over her head. “Let’s sleep.” A layer of whiteness covers the streets. A sprinkling of magic that hides the dog sh*t and the McDonalds wrappers. I pace the house looking longingly at the whiteness outside waiting… Continue reading My Daughter’s First Snow

Baby Injections Fiasco

It was my turn to take Baby M to the doctors for her immunisations. I was worried Baby M may have inherited my needle phobia. But she was brilliant. So was the nurse. She had a great bedside manner, and really looked after me when I feinted. Baby M found it very funny especially when… Continue reading Baby Injections Fiasco

Dad Caught Using Breast Pump

Daddy Dazed spent the evening assembling a breast pump. What an amazing piece of apparatus. Mum-in-law walks in as I am trying out the pump on my own nipple. “Its got amazing sucking power” I say. She looks at me and walks out again without saying a word.

Raving with baby

My body aches from all the dancing. The tunes are still rattling around my brain. My ears are ringing. My body is full of nasty chemicals. But despite that I have a big smile on my face. I have been out. I have been partying. Partying at a children’s party organised by the lovely Perform… Continue reading Raving with baby

New dad chat

Chat with a dad at work:  “Has she started buying loads of shit?” me: “Not yet. She’s compiled an excel spreadsheet, but we have a rule that nothing is bought unless I’ve signed it off” howls of laughter me: “I am trying to lay down rules. She can buy anything she likes if its her… Continue reading New dad chat

Baby Clothes Bouquet

Look at this lovely bouquet of flowers given to us by some friends. If you look closely you will see that the flowers are not in fact flowers but rolled up baby vests. Cool uh? Wifey particularly loved it. She normally doesn’t see the point of flowers. “Why give someone things that die within a… Continue reading Baby Clothes Bouquet